Finding Soulmate


How do you know he is the one?

This is indeed a tricky question. I’m not surprised that a lot of my female followers on Instagram were asking this especially after I announced my marriage. I completely understand that feeling of wanting to know because just two years ago I was also walking in the same shoes. In fact, in my early 20s, I asked a lot of my friends who are married the same question. Because I wondered when would I meet my soulmate? If I was in the middle of knowing someone, I wondered if that guy was the one for me because I didn’t want to waste anymore of my time getting to know someone who wasn’t going to marry me. 

To be honest, you can never tell if he’s the one for you just by asking this question to a married person because this isn’t a guessing game and you cannot depend on someone else’s love story to support your path on finding your soulmate. That’s the biggest thing I’ve learned along the way. So what should you do? The best answer is istikharah. 

I still remember after breaking up with my husband (who was then my boyfriend) almost 8 years ago I did an istikharah in which had turned my crying nights into calm. For how many days straight I cried over the break up, then, just in an instant Allah put my feeling into ease after performing one single prayer – istikharah. I specifically asked Allah if he was my soulmate and if someday we would be married to each other. I said if the answer is yes, then give peace to my heart, and if not, give me peace too. I swear to you, after finishing the prayer, I felt very calm. Although there wasn’t any difference between my two requests, somehow I felt in my heart as if someone was telling me that we’d be together again someday. That feeling helped me went through that tough road peacefully. Masha’Allah tabarakallah. 

I cannot emphasise how much I love this prayer. There are so many blessings in it. Subhanallah. When you do istikharah for the purpose of marriage, it’s about you asking Allah to guide you on making this big decision in your life. Even before my husband and I are married, I did istikharah again a few times because after my experience performing istikharah for pursuing studies abroad, I never want to make big decisions in life without asking Allah first. I believe that if you include Allah in every decision you make, insha’Allah, you’ll never be disappointed. 

Despite my explanation on istikharah above, it’s also important to take note that istikharah doesn’t mean that the road you take will always be smooth with no trials nor tribulations. We live in this dunya where our imaan will constantly be tested. We could also be tested in our marriage even after we performed istikharah because at the end of the day, it’s all about Allah and us, never about our partner and us except that our partner is sent to us so that we can help one another attaining Allah’s pleasure and rahmah. However, we could be given the hardest test in our marriage but because of Allah’s mercy upon us for including Him in every decision of our life, He could make us feel as if the test is nothing but just one of the small stones on our paths. Sooner or later, you’ll be surprised by how you managed to pass through those tests. 

There you go. I hope by reading this, you’ll feel a lot calmer now than you were earlier. Don’t worry, as long as you take good care of yourself, insha’Allah, your future spouse will also be among of those who are taking good care of themselves. All the good things from this post are from Allah and the less is from me. May Allah ease your path on finding your soulmate and may He give you a spouse among righteous people. Allahumma amen.