Self-Reflection


I think the hardest part of growing up is facing the fact that things are no longer the same as it was before. I was assessing my hard drive just now to pick some pictures from the old albums for my blog. As I opened folder by folder, I couldn’t enjoy looking at it. The longer I browse, the sadder I felt. So, I closed the folder and unattached the hard drive from my laptop. Then I started to question myself. Why do I feel this sad and lonely?

My fingers started to type all the words that I had in mind. But as I proceeded, I felt that I was being completely selfish, unfair and egocentric to someone. So, I paused and pondered. Instead of continue typing the negative words, I deleted it and rewrite this post again.

You see...

We all have options in life. As I’m writing this down, I’m also telling myself that you have the option to choose to zoom in the negative aspects of your life or to focus on the positive aspects of it. What difference will it make? Many.

Just like other people, I do have my ups and downs in life. For now, I think I’m on the latter. The problems that I’m facing now are very personal. I was miserable beyond words a few days ago. I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore so I reached out to someone so dear to me. As we talked, I felt like none of my problems really exist. Slowly it vanished into thin air. But really – what stopped me was when I think about how he wanted me to let go of the past, be happy and go through every obstacle together this time. The fact that I have someone who would invest his time and do anything to make me happy had helped to release the tension I felt earlier. The fact that there are still a portion of happiness left in my life is what changed my mind.

My point here is not everything in life negative. If you choose the wrong microscope you will tend to see more negative events in your life than you do with the positives. The worst thing is the longer you zoom, the more focus and caught up you are with the negatives. The mind is in control of the emotions. The more negative you think, the bitter you will feel on the inside and the uglier you will experience on the outside.

I think I’m very grateful to write this post today. I realise now that while I’m being tested with difficulties, I’m also blessed with someone who really cares about me. Alhamdulillah. I thought I couldn’t go past through the moving-on-phase. But the longer I stay, the longer I’m going to be stuck in this mess. So from now on, I’m letting go of the past behind for real and for good this time and ready to move forward in life!

I don’t know what to expect but whatever that is, it will be interesting. Insha’Allah.





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